****Content and replies may contain spoilers. You have been warned. Don't whine if you read one****
I played with G.I.Joe toys as a kid. They were great. The back yard became a huge battle-field, with jungles, deserts and over-sized ants (I grew up in Australia. They were big f**king ants) across which my little action figures to shoot the sh*t out of each other.
One of my most memorable Christmas prezzies was a G.I.Joe jeep with a missile battery on its back and a sweet tiger-camo paint-job.
I think I still have my Cobra Commander figure kicking around somewhere.....
Skip forward 20 years and I purchase my ticket to see the movie, knowing fine well that it's probably going to be crap. Both the Transformer films (if we're really honest with ourselves) were duds, so it stood to reason that another flick based on a toy-line would follow suit.
It's mediocre at best, filled with lots of big explosions and a never-ending series of flashbacks. A Character surplus is always going to dilute a film, but trying to detail each of those numerous character's backgrounds and motivations is assured to cripple the movie altogether.
My biggest gripe, however, is the redesign and generally unintimidating personality of Cobra Commander. He starts out as a, really rather cool, mad scientist. That image gets shattered when his origin is releaved. His implied bad-assness gets restored for a brief few seconds at the end with the line "You will call me; Commander!", and a shot of the Cobra logo on a submarine, backed by some fittingly menacing music.
But five seconds later, he's been captured by the good guys and clapped in irons, putting him back into the "crap villains" column.
"I am the true villain! Oh no; I've been caught" is a poor way to end a film.
Our fond memories of 80s franchises are being crapped on one by one, it seems.
Oh, god. I hope they don't ruin Thundercats!